While pondering on the dilemma of the single Christian sister who is ready for marriage and the single Christian brother who appears unavailable….or not ready, this piece attempts to shed light on a potential obstacle preventing single sisters from marital happiness. 

The truth is uncontrolled emotions lead to slow motion in relationships.

The challenges of “female hood”
Relating with females has given me more insight (than I could ever read in any book), as I have  seen the tears in their eyes, the fears in their hearts, and how so confused and not-knowing-what-to-do so many are. I have discovered that the challenge most sisters have is controlling their emotions.  Perhaps because of the fragility of their hearts, they tend to easily drop the ball when they are under pressure? The truth is uncontrolled emotions lead to slow motion in relationships. When emotions like anger, jealousy, hatred, and even love are not properly controlled, they pose a severe, unimaginable threat to your marital future as a sister.

I have seen ladies lose their fiancé, not because they were promiscuous, but because of unrestrained anger. I have seen jealousy ruin promising relationships. I have seen mood swings make sisters lose potential husbands…and so much more. But my question is, how many more losses must a sister incur just because she can’t get a grip on her uncontrolled emotions? You’ve got to program a few truths into your mind. The first is,  I will not  put myself at the mercy of my emotion.  It’s nothing short of insanity when this minute, you are acting like a wild dog; shouting and ranting and the next minute, you are on your bed, soaked in your own tears, regretting what you just did. 

The second truth is  you are the governor of your body. Romans 6:12 says, “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.” So sister,  your emotion is not in charge of you, you are the one in charge, Let not your emotions reign! Since God declared everything, he created good at creation, it’s a very miserable life, don’t you think? when you refuse to use the power of God to establish order in your own life. You can decide not to be angry, not to hate, not to be sad; you can decide to remain in charge. You’ve got to program these truths into your mind and react accordingly. Why be the dummy when you can be the dominant? You’ve got to take charge. You’ve got to be able to say, I am not letting my emotions take over.

As someone whose been there, done that and got the story to tell,  I used to be a victim of my emotions as well, until the Holy Spirit taught me the C and R formula, which means, Control before Reacting. Through the help of the Holy Spirit, I have learned to first control my emotions, before reacting, and that has made me a better brother, a better friend, and a better person. What’s more, you must understand that you can’t control people’s attitude and behavior, but there is one thing you can control—-your response to it. Don’t put your happiness in the hands of anything or anyone. Joy is not a state you wish for; it is a decision you make. You must decide to be joyful irrespective of what happens to you. Joy is not a function of what is happening around you, it is a function of what is happening within you.

“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”

And in case you are one of those sisters who celebrates mood swings, I want you to know that mood swing is just the devil’s cover up for depression. So don’t watch it, fight it! It’s time to seriously consider taking charge of your emotions as a spiritual battle which you need God’s help to fight and win.  Zechariah 4:6 reminds us that, “this is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”

Below are some prayer points to give back to you the control of your emotions so that nothing or anyone can steal your smile.

  • I reject all forms of weakness in Jesus name.
  • The  manipulation of my emotions, be destroyed by the blood of Jesus.
  • The influence of darkness on my emotions, be paralyzed by the blood of Jesus.
  • Divine empowerment to take charge of my human weaknesses, enter my life in Jesus name.
  • My caged emotions, be liberated by the power in the blood of Jesus.
  • Power to put off childish things, overshadow my life in Jesus name.